If you have a problem…your subconscious mind has the answer. When you need an answer, when you need creative thinking, when you need a problem solved…your subconscious mind has the answer. Even if you cannot see a solution, can’t even imagine how it could be different…your subconscious mind has the answer.

Your job in this scenario is to clearly define the situation in your mind and clearly define how you want it to work out. We’ve all had the experience of being awakened from a deep sleep by a flash of inspiration…a sudden flash of creativity…the answer to a problem you’ve needed for some time and out of nowhere, there the answer was. You must write it down immediately or it will disappear…it will go back the universe where your mind got it from in the first place. This is your subconscious mind finding answers for you. It’s not just a one-time thing, it’s a predictable resource for you to call on whenever you need it.

As I said, your job is to clearly define the situation and if the answer does not come, turn the situation over to your deeper subconscious mind prior to sleep and forget about it. Make sure you have notepads and pens all around you all the time because you never know exactly when the flash will come to you containing your answer. When it comes…the answer will be complete, simple and elegant. Until you get your response, continues defining and turning it over to your subconscious mind until your problem is solved.

This system has been used by all the great thinkers down through the ages. It works…do you? ~ Mack Newton

We all know that one of our greatest needs is to be listened to and understood. Several recent best-selling books have focused on the problems of a lack of communication between men and women. Of course it’s not limited to just men and women…it’s between adults and children…it’s between men and other men, women and other women…we just have issues communicating…period. One of the most important elements of communicating is listening. For over 20 years, I’ve felt that listening is an art-form. Very likely, your listerner perceives the world in a very different way than you do. Without advanced listening skills, you will not hear the feeling and thoughts behind the words.

Sometimes…when a relationship becomes stormy, we often quit listening to the other person because we are so sure we’re “right.” When you finally negotiate the peace you find out that usually there’s a misundestanding at the root of it. Do everything you can to make sure the lines of communication remain open…especially when the relationship tenses up. Don’t be afraid to ask silly questions. Pin your partner down and ask, “what did you mean by that” Try to get a clear understanding of what they wanted you to hear. Challenge their body language or their tone of voice, because so much of what is being said can be communicated by body language and tone of voice. “I hear you saying that you want to go out to dinner tonight, but your voice is angry. Is this true?” Perhaps your mate’s voice and body language are reflecting a hard day at work rather than annoyance with you, but if you don’t ask and then listen to the answer, you’ll never know.

Next…don’t be afraid to talk. Letting someone else into your emotional world is an act of trust. It tells them that they are important enough that you will share your deepest thoughts and feelings with them. If you become defensive and withdraw because of perceived criticisms, your partner may never understand why you are so unhappy until the day you walk out the door. At this point, the opportunity for a happy, fulfilling relationship may be over. Give the relationship a chance by communicating your needs to your partner in an open, nonthreatening way. ~ Mack Newton

I have studied the field of human potential for over 24 years at this point. All because I wanted an answer to this question; “Why are some people more successful than others…even when having similar abilities? I was also looking for a way to consistent performance..so I could depend on myself…especially under pressure. Well…like a prospector looking for gold and striking oil, I have found some very interesting and valuable information along the way.

What I’ve found along the way is absolutely amazing! I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that every person on this planet has inborne potential that is extraordinary. So many folks are performing at a level far below what they’re capable of, and… that it’s a shame… especially when so many are looking to get more out of life. It’s as if they’re completely unaware that they have the ability…RIGHT NOW, to reach any goal that they could set for themselves. Realizing that I was only using a small part of my potential has redefined my life…I mean… how I set my goals…how I’ve realized pssibilities that I never even thought were possible in the first place! It’s as if I am a completely different person. You know…in reality, I am. I no longer think the same way, I no longer have the same expectations as before…I just don’t see life the same way. The great thing is…everyone can change their life in the same way. Want to know how?

Understand that your job is to invest whatever time and energy required to become perfectly clear about exactly what it is you want. I mean…PERFECTLY CLEAR! Clarity is everything! Also…understand that whatever it is you want, you already have the ability to make it happen, as long as you feel you deserve having it. Remember…the greater your clarity, the more of your tremendous potential you will unleash on your life. ~ Mack Newton

In order to break the pattern of having the same arguments in your relationship with your spouse over and over… here are some specific things you can do to change the outcome.

First, let’s break out and take some chances…risk doing something different. When conversing, change your body posture, lean forward when you listen to those old familiar words…ask questions…pause, rather than immediately respond or jumping in with your normal response or your opinion at this point. Relax, take a breath, if you need and repeat back what your spouse is saying in your own words to see if you do actually understand what they are saying. This a key point and can change the whole conversation from this point forward because now at least you’re clear on their point. Remember…whenever you’re in the middle of this chatfest, it’s important for you to say what you really are thinking and don’t expect them to already know as if they can read your mind. Never use words as weapons, to hurt or to punish…it’s almost impossible to reverse the damage caused by this loss of self-control.

Secondly, work on making yourself a better person and liking yourself more. You can’t give away something you don’t have and you can’t even accept love from someone else to any greater degree than you already have for love yourself. I’ve said many time before that just because your spouse doesn’t love you the way you want them to…doesn’t mean that they’re not loving you with everything they have. So…learning to love yourself more becomes a key element to you having a better relationship with your spouse. Abandon trying to change your spouse because it is beyond your control and…it simply doesn’t and can’t work.

Third, commit yourself to the relationship. In Taekwon-Do training, you have to fully commit yourself to doing a particular technique and if you’re worried about the courterattack, you might never make the movement which could save your life. If you commit yourself totally to the proper execution of the movement, there is a great chance it’ll work.

Most people don’t commit themselves to their relationships simply because they’re afraid they won’t find a reciprocal response from the other. Both, it seems, are only willing to commit themselves as much as the other is willing to commit and they end up re-playing the same tired tape over and over. Eventually…the excitment is gone and laughter is gone and if the laughter is gone…pretty much the relationship is finished. Now…a relationship that could have flourished is lost simply because no one is willing to take a chance and commit. ~ Mack Newton

Imagine youirself in the middle of this nightmare: You are in a bumper car ride at a carnival. A clown crashes his car into yours, sending it flying across the rink. Just as you start to get control of your cart and plan your next move, another car ploows into you from behind and sends you flying again. This happens time and time again…but, you can only catch a glimpse of the grin on the clown’s face before you’re sent spinning again. Your head hurts…your neck aches…your knees are bruised, and you just want off this ride in the worst way.

That was my life every day before I learned the art of being an effective decision-maker. It was insane! I just never felt like I had any real control over my life…at least not from the inside of me to what was going on the outside. Psychologists refer to this as a “locus of control.” An internal locus of control means you feel that your hands are on the steering wheel of your life…that your decisions…your thoughts and desires are taking you where you want to go. An external locus of control means that you believe that external conditions and people outside your life determine how happy you are, or how successful you can become.

You feel positive about yourself and your life to the degree you feel in control of your life. You feel negative about yourself to the degree you feel your life is controlled by external factors…like those bumper cars.

Deciding whether control of your life is internal or external will make all the difference in the effectiveness of your decision-making. All control begins when you take control of your thoughts and realize that all success and happiness flows from the inside to the outside. ~ Mack Newton

Once you know what you want and your desire to achieve it is strong, you need a map to help get you where you want to go. That map is called goals…and, goals are a blueprint, a step-by-step process of how you are going to make your dreams a reality. Desire is the great motivator…helps you overcome your fears, but simply wanting it isn’t enough…you have to know how you are going to make it happen. Yes…goals are the roadmap…they will take you there. Creating goals and bringing them into your life is actually living life with a purpose. Wiithout clear, defined and written out goals, you either wander or you change unpredictably, mostly in response to your fears, and as a result you never really know where you’re headed and that is a very stressful way to live. If you’re not setting goals…the world is having a field day with you…right now. The world is playing with you like a volley-ball…knocking you from here to there and you never knowing what’s coming next. Take charge of who you are and who you want to be by becoming an obsessive goal-setter. ~ Mack Newton

Most of our successes don’t look like success when they first show up in your life in response to your goal-setting. That’s why some people don’t recognize them as what they asked for…because it’s disguised in work clothes…or even tragedy. Sometimes people who have gone through a lengthy or terminal illness realize suddenly what they really want in life…it’s clear as a bell in their mind’s eye. In my case, success came disguised as a degenerative hip ailment. If I hadn’t been reduced to walking in pain, on a cane, I never would have changed my thinking to discover more of my previously unrecognized talents. I firmly believe I’d still be in the same place, doing the exact same things…or, at least trying to. Or…maybe I’d be dead.

It that what it takes? Do you have to be deformed and broken before you start to think differently? Before you can see what you really want in your life? If if it does…why? It scares me now to realize that it took something so painful and devastating to push me out of my rut. Why couldn’t I have done it without that impetus? Well…I could have…I could have changed my thinking at any time if I had wanted it badly enough. You have to want something really, really badly. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. ~ Mack Newton

Many, many people have no clue whatsoever what they to do with their lives. I see it often and I have been there…done that. But…let me tell you about a friend of mine…I’ll call him…”Jerry”. Jerry was adrift in life. He ricochets from disaster to disaster without any clear purpose or seemingly any feel for where he would like to go. He was truly a bumber-car in a carnival kind of guy. Truly directionless. Sad. He had accumulated several DUIs and is not even allowed to drive a car today. I asked him what he wants out of life or what he would like to do with his life and he just shrugs his shoulders, grunts and muttered some half-hearted vague response. I felt completely helpless in trying to get my friend motivated or inspired.

The psychologist William Marsten polled over 3,000 people with the question; “What do you have to live for?” Only 6 percent responded that they had a major definite purpose for their life…94 PERCENT did not!! I was shocked! But, it does go a long way in explaining why so many people underachieve and waste so much of their potential.

If you feel that passion has deserted you, perhaps your desires have gone underground. Maybe you have given up on your dreams through fear or because you’ve listened to others telling you you can’t do it. You may have even tried and failed and mistook that as a sign that you aren’t supposed to have whatever it is. To get out of the hole you’re in…keep asking yourself these questions; “What do you want to be? What do you want to have? What do you want to do?” ~ Mack Newton

Desire and passion comes from inside you… for you and belong to you alone. No one can want anything for you and you can’t want anything for anyone else. It just deoesn’t work. You may want your partner to be more sensitive, or be a better listener, or to lose weight…yet…unless your spouse wants the same thing for themselves…it’s just not going to happen.

Without question, you can support others in their own goals and desires. You can encourage them onward and upward. You can inspire them. In fact, one of the definitions of love is being willing to help your partner grow in the direction of their dreams. But…as I said you can’t establish the desire or the dreams for them…and, wanting it for them can’t and won’t make it happen. Remember… as I said earlier, no one can project their desires onto you. No matter how badly your father or your spouse wants you to be a doctor, or whatever, the universe will not respond to this desire if it is not in your heart, as well. ~ Mack Newton

Many people only have a vague idea of what it is they want.  They may want what others have, or what they see in a magazine, or a different job, or whatever the latest trent declares is desirable.

     The conversation goes like this:  Do you know what you want?  Sure. I know what I want. What is it exactly?  Well…it’s kind of hard to describe.

This much is clear…they don’t have a clue.  Desire is a singular hunger, a passionate yearning that pierces the heart and thrills the mind.  If you can’t describe in one clear-cut, succinct sentence exactly what you want…it’s nothing but a vague wish.  Desire is the first step to opening your mind to new ideas and new possibilities.  Passion excites you and stimulates your vision to be clear and precise and that compells you to launch yourself headllong into the direction of your dreams…straight into a rich, full and extraordinary life.

For most of my adult life, I had no clear-cut goals whatsoever and I was adrift on an ocean without sail or oar.  Now…I know what I want and have become an obsessive goal-setter for over 22 years…my life doesn’t even resemble anything that I could have previously imagined.  My personal relationships, my financial accomplishments all outdistance even my most outrageous dreams.  All because of goal-setting and nothing more.  Once you decide what you want, you’ll have something you didn’t have before…a visible aiming point.  You now know where you want to be and goal-setting will get you there.  ~  Mack Newton