Recently I was sitting in a local restaurant, talking with the owner discussing a business possibility.  After describing some of the difficulties I had endured during the late eighties and early nineties, he noted that I had turned my life around dramatically.  I agreed and he asked me why did I think God had blessed me with so much abundance since then?  My answer was simple, “I asked for it”.

Have you ever heard someone say, “I don’t mind doing things for someone, but I can’t bear asking them to do something for me?” Isn’t it ironic that, in a world where many people complain that they don’t get from life all that they would like, most people won’t ask for what they want?  Until we learn to ask for what we want, we kind of live our lives in an unacknowledged state of resignation.  It seems that we silently agree never to be a nuisance or a bother, never to intrude on anyone or to be a pest.  It’s at this point you become a soldier in the army of silent sufferers, who push on gamely, doing it all themselves because this is the way you’ve been taught.

Early in my childhood, I was told that if I ever needed a helping hand to look at the end of my arm.  The message was very clear, I was on my own, don’t ever ask for anything again and I didn’t.  I never asked for anything. I never asked for a raise, so I was paid less than I deserved, I never asked for a date, so I never had any.  I settled for substandard, shoddy… I simply settled.  That was my life… a life of settling for less than I really wanted, less than I deserved, less than the best, and less than what was possible.

In order to get what you want…. ASK for it!  It’s important to ask for four reasons:

1. ASKING INDICATES THAT YOU LIKE YOURSELF AND HAVE A HEALTHY SENSE OF SELF-WORTH.

2. ASKING IS IMPORTANT TO YOUR HEALTH. WHEN YOU DON’T ASK YOU FEEL OVERLOOKED AND IGNORED AND THAT LEADS TO FRUSTRATION AND STRESS.

3. BY ASKING YOU INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING WHAT YOU WANT BY 200%.  IT’S THE BEST WAY OF LETTING GOD, YOUR SPOUSE, FRIENDS, YOUR BOSS, AND EVERYONE ELSE KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

4. ASKING GIVES SOMEONE ELSE THE PLEASURE OF HELPING YOU.  IN FACT, FAILING TO ASK IS SELFISH, IN MY OPINION, BECAUSE IF YOU LIKE TO HELP OTHERS, DON’T DEPRIVE THEM OF THE SATISFACTION OF HELPING YOU.

A major component in getting what you want is having the conviction that you are worth it.  One of the best ways to develop your sense of self-worth is the ASK.

Mack Newton

We are now living in a golden age.  An era we’ve worked towards for thousands of years.  America presents endless opportunity for everyone living here. 

Let’s take 100 men and women starting even at the age of 25.  All of them want to be successful.  If you ask them they would tell you that they are eager about life and want to succeed.  They have a sparkle in their eye and a spring in their step.  But what happens to them by the age of 65?  1 (one) will be rich…4 (four) will be financially independent … 5 (five) will still be working… 54 will be broke!  Now… let’s think for a moment… out of the original 100 … only 5 make the grade.  All others end up broke or dependent upon others for their livelihood.  Why is this?

Over 50 years ago, Rollo May, a distinguished psychiatrist wrote a wonderful and interesting book, “Man’s Search for Himself” and in this book, he wrote, “the opposite of courage, in our society, is not cowardice, it’s conformity”.  There you have the trouble in America today… conformity… people acting like everyone else, without knowing why or without knowing where they’re going.  Ok, now let’s think about this…in America right now there are over 33 million people over the age of 65 and about 29 million of the 33 million are broke, depending on something or someone else for life’s necessities.

Usually we learn to read by the time we’re 7 …we learn to make a living by the time we’re 25 and usually by 30 or so we’re not only making a living, we’re supporting a family and yet by the time we’re 65, we haven’t learned how to become fnancially independent and yet by the time we’re 65, we haven’t learned how to become financially independent in the richest land that the world has ever known.  Why?  It’s simple!  We conform.  And the real problem is that we’re conforming with the wrong percentage group.. we’re conforming with the 95% who don’t succeed.  So why do these people conform.  I think I know why.  They live by the Law of Accident.  They think it’s not what you know…it’s who you know…they think it’s simply being in the right place at the right time.  They think their lives are shaped by circumstances…by things that happen to them…by external forces, if you like.  Well, I know this…successful people don’t believe in circumstances…they create their own circumstances.  They control the direction of change in their lives by setting goals.  Another reason people conform is because it’s so easy.  It doesn’t require much effort, but it does take considerable effort to plan and succeed.

In order to be one of the top 5 out of every 100 people, you must become a habitual goal setter.  As Brian Tracy said, ”Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal”.  A goal!  An aiming point for your life!  Goals keep us moving in the direction of our desires.  And remember this; it’s not important what the goal is, so long as it’s yours.  Dr. Victor Frankl, in his classic book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”, wrote “life asks of every individual a contribution and it is up to the individual to discover what the contribution should be”.  ~  Mack Newton

Being a basketball fan, I’m aware that when a player makes a pass that leads directly to a goal being scored, that player is credited with an ‘assist’.    These  ‘assists’ are sometimes called  ’droppin’  dimes’.  After games in the locker rooms you often hear players chatting among themselves, saying things like; “how many dimes did he drop tonight?”  In basketball, hockey and baseball, when you make an assist, you’re ’droppin a dime’.  In life, when you’re ‘droppin’ a dime’, you’re making an entirely different kind of assist to yourself that will have a  immediate impact and have lasting importance.  Let me tell you how.  One thing that’s lost in the seemingly neverending conversations about the economy and all the gloom and doom surrounding all the home foreclosures and people losing jobs is a vital fact that might have been a huge factor and changed history for so many.   Savings!  Three years ago, I reported on my weekly radio show that many Americans officially had reached a point where they had zero savings.  Didn’t save a dime.     In all probability, Americans’ savings are in a negative condition at this point in time.  “The ability to save money is the cornerstone of building wealth.”  “A penny saved is a penny earned.”  We’ve all heard these quotes time and time again, but in spite of that saving money remains a lost art.  So many Americans live outside their means that it’s considered normal to do so.  It’s not something to worry about…I mean, we’ll catch up, right?  So, for many, saving money is a joke.  I’ve heard people say;  I don’t have to save money because the equity that’s building in my home is my savings.  NO, IT’S NOT!  As so many are now painfully aware of, equity is not savings…only savings is savings.  I was taught that you should save for several reasons.  1.  For special purchases like hoimes, cars, vacations and college educations.  2.  To be able to take advantage of special purchase opportunities.  3.  And, the main reason is to build a nest egg, to be prepared for a rainy day, that unexpected medical emergency, some dark clouds hovering…kinda like now.  In other words…your own personal bailout plan!  I was also taught to save 10 cents from every dollar I earned.  Just like it says in the story by George S. Clason, “The Richest Man In Babylon”…”Some of what you earn should be yours to keep.”  Ok, you’ve figured it out…now you know what it means to make a personal assist, to drop a dime.  That remains my personal savings habit to this day.  Investments…you say!  They’re great and can be a part of a healthy financial picture, but investments are not the same as savings!  You can invest, you can buy a home, but saving 10 cents on every dollar is what will really deliver returns during dark times .  Some people argue that savings accounts offer too small of a return on their money to be meaningful.  What they’re really saying is they don’t have the discipling to save or they don’t know how to save or they just don’t want to.  But, and hear this…it’s not about the return…it’s all about the money saved…it’s about droppin’ the 10 cents on every dollar earned.   Imagine of you’d have saved 10 cents on every dollar you’ve earned in the last 10 years.  How much would you have today.  Well, if you earned $40,000.00 a year and saved just 10 cents on every dollar earned over that time, you’d have $40,000.00 right now!  IN CASH!   No credit applications to fill out, no waiting for approval.  Wow!  Would $40,000.00 make a difference in your life right now?  Imagine how many people could be helped by having $40,000.00 in cash in their bank account right now to use any way they chose AND without having to pay it back!  So, how do you drop this dime?  It starts with paying yourself first.  This is the hard part…paying yourself first.  You can do that by setting up an automatic transfer from your checking account directly into your savings account.  Also, you can deduct savings from your paycheck and have it directly deposited into your savings account so you never even see it on your paycheck.  Savings should be your priority, so don’t just say that you’ll save what’s left over at the end of the month.  That never, ever works.  What does work is droppin’ a dime from every dollar you earn.  This works well and before you know it, you’ll have a tidy sum in savings.  Over decades, you’ll be a millionaire…that also works for me.   ~   Mack Newton

I’ll always remember the story about faith and respect told to me by my first Taekwon-Do instructor, Mr Sang Ki Eun, then of Rockford, Illinois.  I also think he was trying to teach me about effective decision-making, as well.   It’s an old Zen story about two monks strolling through the forest near their monastery one day.  Suddenly…a snarling Bengal tiger leaped into their path, blocking their way and appearing ready to attack.  Although surprised, the elder monk remained calm in the face of this  impending disaster.  He whispered to the younger monk, “You must merely have faith and we will emerge from this alive and well,” he assured the young man.  “We are holy men of God and he shall not allow us to be harmed by this tiger.”  The younger monk surveyed the situation, taking particular notice of the tiger’s attitude and promptly spun on his heels and took off running as fast as he could.  The old monk seeing this also took off running and when they had finally reached a safe distance and the old monk had caught up to the young monk, he demanded “Have you no faith?  You didn’t have to run away!  God would have kept us safe from danger.  He has complete control over that tiger.”  “I know He does…” his young companion replied, “…but why should I bother God about that tiger when He gave me two legs that can run so fast?”  Growing… striving… accomplishing… taking care of your own needs, doesn’t imply a lack of faith…it simply means that you respect the universe enough not to demand that it do for you what you are unwilling to put forth the effort to do for yourself.  At this very basic level it shows respect for your faith, so that it is not merely wishful thinking.  ~  Mack Newton

One of the worst rationalizations I’ve ever used in the past is that “it’s okay to tell a lie because only I know I lied.  Only I know I didn’t fulfill my promise.”  That idea states loud and clear that my opinion about me and what I do is unimportant and only the opinion of others will count.  Nothing could be further from the truth.   This is where the inner court of mind becomes a factor.  When it comes to matters of self-esteem, I have far more to fear from my inner court of mind…my own judgement than from anyone else’s.   At the center of my consciousness is the judge from whom there is no escape.  I can avoid people who have learned some humiliating truth about me, but I cannot avoid  myself.  Most of the choices we make when it comes to integrity are not great ones, yet the accumulated weight of these choices has a tremendous impact on the sense of self and can literally bring you down.  The little things add up and we become the daily choices we make.  Little things like; employees who take office supplies…parents who won’t admit when they’re wrong to their children…managers who pad their expense accounts.  If you make these and other  similar choices, you are slowly, but surely heading down the road of  hypocrity and eventual self-loathing.  Self-esteem is the main casualty and loving yourself  becomes an impossibility.  ~  Mack Newton

Negative thinking or negative expectations can prevent you seeing the good things or the things that are working in your life. Negative thinking turns good things into less of good things and eventually into nothing. Positive thinking or grateful thinking makes everything better.

Love is not  a matter of falling in love and staying in love, it’s more like falling in love and then developing a deep respect and a sincere liking.  The sincere liking is what keeps you together when you fall out of love.  You may fall in and out of love with the same person many times over the course of  a long-term love relationship.  That’s why having a sincere liking for your partner is actually more important than constantly being in love. 

If you were in love at one time and if you’re still willing to work on your relationship, then certainly your relationship can be saved.  It certainly isn’t hopeless, it may just be going through a change…it may be evolving…but, it’s not done.  Like an athletic skill set…relationships can change levels…move to a higher level of enjoyment, a higher level of experience. 

Even in the most devasted battlegrounds of love, sometimes there is a spark or an ember and it can be fanned back into a flame.  The Greek have a word for the rekindling process: praxis.  The principle of praxis states that you generate emotion in yourself by doing things consistent with those emotions over and over until they rekindle into flame.  In other words, you act your way into the feeling until it becomes your reality.    ~   Mack Newton

It is now and has been my job in life to chase my dreams, no matter what defeat life deals me.  It’s your job, too.   I believe it’s the only way you’re going to be satisfied…it’s the only way you going to feel fulfilled and it’s never too late!  True personal popwer can only result from forging a balanced mind-body-spirit life.  Mind is the crucial link in this chain.  Many people believe, as I used to, that their thoughts are meaningless, random mental chatter, random mental vignettes appearing on the video screens of their minds.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Thoughts create reality.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said we become what we think about all day long.  Your thoughts literally predict your future, whether positive or negative.  Whatever you think about on a consistent basis is programmed directly into your subconscious mind and stored and as these thoughts become dominate, will be fed back to you on a concious level at the critical moment.  This then creates the basis for all your subsequent actions, words, even your gestures and ideas.  They will  all be in harmony with your dominate thoughts.  Now…just as compelling is the fact that you are simultaneously creating the reality for other people who touch your life, by your positive or negative expectations of them.  I’ve found that nothing is more powerful than simply expecting the best of your spouse, loved one…and, especially your children.   The words: “I love you…I believe in you…and, I know you can do it”  exerts a tremendously positive influence on all the people you love and who love you.  ~  Mack Newton

To continue with the same behavior and look for a different outcome is considered by some to be an indicator of insanity.  All of us do that some of the time, to some degree, but when it is the normal operating procedure, there is a clear need for a change in behavior.  Doing things diffently doesn’t mean that you have to change who you are at heart,  or do anything that goes against your morals or values.   In fact… doing things differently with a purpose of getting more out of yourself and developing more of your possibilities brings you more in harmony with  your principles and your values.  Simply put…it means becoming a better you.  Doing things differently also doesn’t mean that you’re going to automatically come up with the perfect idea or best solution immediately.  It’s going to set up the inevitable  flow of failures sure to come that will teach you what you need to know to become that eventually success.  It’s going to give you a chance to succeed.   It’s going to jolt you out of your “doing things the same way” behavior long enough for you to look around and see some other ways in which you can get this done.  If you can learn from the failures and not run away because you’re afraid or lazy…if you can remain focused on what you want…then…just maybe,  you have a chance to become the ultimate creative driving  force in your life.   ~   Mack Newton

The notion that only peak performing professional or Olympic level athletes need to be in top physical condition is out-of-date and a mistaken notion. High-level executives, parents, teachers, nurses all need high levels of physical energy to build and sustain the enthusiasm, creativity and the passion that drives these high performers over the long term. In order for your spirit not to be dominated, it has to have an ally in your physical self. If you are going to be successful in the pursuit of your goals, you need the energy and physical stamina to be congruent with your desires. When you have a desire to achieve a goal, but you don’t have the physical energy to bring it about, then you are defeating the second element of goal-setting, which is belief. You must believe that you have what it takes to achieve your goal. You must believe that you deserve the goal and it’s important that you very clearly understand that you can never out-perform your beliefs about yourself…NO MATTER WHAT! You MUST believe that you CAN accomplish this goal and sometimes it requires sheer physical energy and staying power. Your ability to stay the course…stay on track in the face of adversity and obstacles without falling into a quivering mass of stress related illnessness and unhappiness sometimes depends on your level of determination and perserverance. Determination and perserverance…though they are mental qualities…are intimately connected to the amount of sheer physical energy one can muster and maintain. I mean, even though we’re spiritual beings, we’re living in a physical world. So…in order for your spirit to be indomitable, you must be strong mentally, spiritually and physically, as well. Plato wrote extensively about the ultimate athlete, who is a combination of the scholar and the gymnast. Socrates took it a step further and became both a gymnast and a weight lifter. These two great thinkers and philosophers fulfilled their examples as role models and teachers for the ages.. by becoming physicall strong. ~ Mack Newton